In a New York Minute

In a New York Minute…It could be all gone…said and done…Not another chance to speak out and say what I should have, could have said..at that very moment..that exact situation..

So before that happens… I am gonna say all the things I’ve been wanting to say…there is not always going to be that second Chance…

As I say all these things…I am going to try not to cry…Not for sadness…but for the relief of knowing…That no matter what happens to me…You will know my every thought my every wish…

So you have to promise.. you will not laugh at some of the things I have to say..for they come from the bottom of my heart..and the pit of my soul…

From the Moment…you said.. “I’d love a chance to get to know you” It was then…I had to see where this would go...Even if it came to an abrupt end.. I want to know.. if the Angles above us knows..something we do not…

I had built walls around me..so high…so strong.. Superman couldn’t even break through…but the moment I heard your voice…those walls came crashing down.. After they came down, I walked out from all the debris and dust…it was then… I knew..a higher power had put us in each others path..and I do not think I will be able to fight this.. to be perfectly honest.. I do not want to…

Every time I look into the mirror…all I can see is you staring back at me…when I lay my head on my pillow at night.. I can feel your warmth beside me,.. whispering into my ear..good night…I hope to see you me dreams…

The question in the back of my mind right now.. is.. Are you too good to be true? Some would say…”What is too good to be true?” I can elaborate and tell you… to good to be true…to me..is when that other person you are falling for is every thing you have always wanted to see.. to hear..to know.. when everything that comes out of their mouth is music to your ears..when a call or a text makes you nervous..and when you imagine standing in front of this person,…there is a feeling of every emotion all at once..that to me.. “Is too good to be true”..

So…if We were to never speak another word…I will be in a place in my life..where I can say.. I have no regrets..of what I should have..could have said to this wonderful person..that to me…is too good to be true..and if I am dreaming..I do not want to wake..

For the day our paths crossed…is a day in my life..that will be forever ingrained into my heart…and imprinted into my soul…

Yours truly,
And forever..
Tammy Martina

I Hope this letter Reaches you.....

As I lay here… I am wondering what this day will bring…Very thankful for one more day… To love…to cherish all those in my life!



I have had the honor of meeting some wonderful people in my life, and I do not know what I would do If I lost some of them…one in Particular…for losing him, would be a steak in my heart…



I cannot fully tell you how difficult this is…To let him in on my Secret…that I wake up thinking of him, and I go do bed thinking of him, would be un-heard of…and to be honest.. I cannot tell anyone this secret…I will have to hold it…forever



So what I am going to do is write a letter and put it in a bottle send it down the ocean…and hope…and pray it reaches him…. It would say something like this…..



…..Dear…Mr. Wonderful…



As I wake in the morning with the beautiful sun and warmth of the day, I wish you were lying next to me, so that I could lean over and kiss you good morning, and ask if you slept well…



As I step into the shower, while washing my hair, I wish you were breathing down my neck as you wash my back..and turn around so that I can do the same to you!!





As I go through the day…when something interesting happens or I need advice… I look over at my phone looking at your number and knowing I cannot push the button…This hurt can be unbearable at times, and I have to turn away before someone looks over at me and sees the tears trickling down my face…. And asks me that dreaded question…”why are you crying Tammy”



….and as the day turns into night, when I want to grab, you…hold you tight and feel safe in your arms….and go to sleep with my head on your chest…reality hits me hard, and I realize I will be going to bed all alone….with only thoughts of you, and to know when I wake…the other side of the bed will be empty as it always…and I’ll have to face yet another day….wanting….wishing….hoping…praying…that I could rewind time, and take you when I had the chance…truly…my only regret!



What I want you to know…is…We belong to one another, just missed fate…and that I can, and I am living with…what my ending is…..you at a distance…



Just remember when you need someone… I’ll always be holding your hand, and tip toeing to reach your ear.. to whisper in your ear…”It’ll be okay baby”…..



I’ll end this letter…as I wipe away the tears….I hope this reaches you…

Yours truly,

And forever

*~*Tammy*~*

"I smell a Rat"

Blind as a bat oh my..I think I’m smelling Rat..just in case you did not know..I am will to put on a show…

It’s a small world after all…no one seems to notice, and truthfully, I’ve only experienced a shortfall

Forever grateful I am to have learned such great lessons…most people would actually call it blessings…

Mishaps, encounters and situations, are for us to deal with the best we can, and with out one single question…

But I have another way to put this….I walk along in an oblivious bliss…..

I live and learn, and take every thing with a grain of salt…for if I didn’t my broken heart would be my own fault…


Never broken, torn or forlorn, I will walk toward the storm….with a pure heart and an open mind….I chose to never rewind..

Never regret something that made you smile…and always always walk that extra mile..

~*~Tammy Martina~*~

"I Smell a Rat"

Blind as a bat oh my..I think I’m smelling Rat..just in case you did not know..I am will to put on a show…

It’s a small world after all… Never forget it… I know your no St. Paul..

Forever grateful I am to have learned such great lessons…most people would actually call it blessings…

Situations, encounters, and Mishaps are for us to deal with the best we can.. hmm. Perhaps..

But I have another way to put this….I walk along in an oblivious bliss…..

I live and learn, and take every thing with a grain of salt…for if I didn’t my broken heart would be my own fault…


Never broken, torn or forlorn, I will walk toward the storm….with a pure heart and an open mind….I chose to never rewind..

Never regret something that made you smile…and always always walk that extra mile..

~*~Tammy Martina~*~

"It's getting Clearer"

With every encounter it gets clearer and clearer as to why I feel the way I do. When I’m not with you. I miss you like a child misses her blanket, yet I Still manage to never let you see that side of me.. One reason is I am fearful that would only scare you away…

Sometimes I feel like I want to confess to you, that I want to share my every minute of every day with you, but for once.. I am taking baby steps, and I can admit, it’s very scary for me, because I have never done anything at a slow pace in my life!

I can also confess it’s one of the best experiences I have ever had! The not knowing what is next, if I do this, or if I do that, will it be the right thing to do or not to do, is a daily challenge, and what girl does not love a great challenge!!

I understand where you’re coming from, and I would never for my own selfish reasons try to change what you are all about! If this is meant to be, I will be honored to wait right by your side. I have learned great patience and this will be my true test!

The reason you’re worth the wait is because, I cannot Breath, whenever I think about you, and whenever someone says your name I get a pain in my stomach! That with out saying another word is all that needs to be said..

I do have one last confession…after these last few months, I have found, that your always on my mind, your who I dream of at night, and when you come around I get shy, and I pray every night that this is a never ending story…

Yours Truly

*~*Tammy Martina*~*

"My Desire for You"

After Not seeing you for about Two weeks...The anticipation became overwhelming and I hoped that when I saw your sweet face I could control my hunger for you!

As I saw you coming toward me. My mouth started to water and my heart felt like it was going 90 miles a minute...I promised my self when I saw you, I would control my self.. the best I could..

But...when I saw that cute hypnotizing smile I could no longer have the control, I only hoped for... Just the smell of your breath took me over the edge and I felt as if I were going to explode!!

When our bodies touched and put my hands on your chest, and our lips together, with just the right amount of moisture all I could think of.. was what was next...

As I looked into your eyes, I silently begged for you to take me into the other room...I guess you read my mind because once our lips barley parted we were on our way...

Before we got to the next room, My body was on fire and My imagination was everywhere! My clothes were off before we even got to the next room!

As we laid on to the bed, everything you whispered into my ear was everything a girl could only dream of hearing! your soft touches and your hot breath on my ear was absolutely amazing and if that would have been the end.. I would have been more than satisfied!

As I kissed you from your head to your toe, you whispered the sweetest things.. I hope I have told you, you are the most amazing person I have ever met..If not..I must confess...I have never met another like you..

After all the love and passion... laying there in your arms was only what I hoped would be the beginning and I would never reach the end! I want to spend the rest of my life,,, in that very moment.. rapped in your arms and nothing, and no one in sight!

And now tonight as I lay here without you... I think about you, and I shall dream of you.. till the next time.. I see that sweet grin, and You rap me tight in those safe arms.. I adore the day.. you came stumbling into my life.. with or with out reason...Your here and that is all that matters!

With sweet adoration,

Yours truly,
Tammy Martina

"Down for the count"

Down, for the count I have 10 seconds, to either get up, or lay there and lose..

As I lay there, my mind is still wondering... 5 more seconds pass which feels like a week...I wonder what I can do to make my life better.

Pretty Hard, because I feel so alone...Surrounded by so many but no one in Arms reach.

Everyone pretends to be there, but when you really need them, no one is to be found.. and that...Dumbfounds me.

I have 5 more seconds to be brave enough to take this thing called life (all alone) or lay there and lose the fight..

So I took a deep breath counted to three.. 1..2...3... I have GOD and that is all I need. 4 came and I stood up...at the count of 10 came and I stood up with my head held high...

I am strong..powerful, and am capable of so many things, and my goals will be accomplished no matter..

You'll never find me DOWN for the count again...I can greatly assure you!

I hope you can follow me, on my Journey to making my dreams come true, I am not going to waste one more unnecessary minute!


*~*Tammy Martina*~*