Metamorphis

I've gone through a Metamorphosis... I'm nothing like I was..amazing it is and not just because..

I'm stronger, smarter and a so much more wise..and to most this is a pleasant surprise...

Before you would have never known, it was me... I've let lose and now finally free...Of what was holding me down from being the person, I knew I wanted to be.. with a contagious laugh, have permanently turned in my frown..

Though this Change is far from complete.I know I have won, and defeated the person.. I never wanted to be...

*~*~Tammy Martina*~*

"Unexpected"

Something told me He would be sweet...Just wanted to stay up on my own two feet..

Having told myself, all alone is just so peaceful, to never mess it up by meeting new and interesting people...

Down my Path here we go, I cannot believe it is so...That his smile did it all...oh my goodness it is True...I'm gonna Fall.

Never having experienced "Love" as it was truly meant to be.. I'm going to focus on letting go, and being me... Loving to my fullest potential.. this time it is essential...Never second guess..or play games..just adore the sparks..and feel the flames.

So...with my hand held out, and my heart on my sleeve..I know what was meant to be will be..and this I have the patients to wait and see.. and never again will I be Naive...


*~*~Tammy Martin~*~*

Choices

Of all the choices I have had to make in my life, I think about “what was behind that choice that brought me to make that choice…. at that very moment in my life”

Every choice I have made, no matter how small has been a part of what I am, and where I am… Today.

I dread that some choices were because of my being selfish, while others may have appeared to be a selfish act, when I knew the turn out would benefit all involved.. As I look around me today and think…Most of my choices, were not for the best and that is obvious, but during the bad choices.. Great ones were made, that led to the best things that has ever happened in my life..

Some of the bad choices have led me to meet some of the best people I have ever known, taken me on Journeys I never thought I’d live to see.. Some bad choices led me down the path that made me a mother of 3 Beautiful children, and a wedding my Mother was able to see 3 months before her Death..

So, some of the choices I have made, I would not change if ever given the chance to. Through it all, I have found someone I never knew existed, sadly that person, is “ME” and some yet to understand me, but is it understanding I desire, or is it that I desire no understanding at all? Either way, my life is what I make it, and no matter what else happens In my life, I know who I am, and what I want, and “what has not killed me, has made me STRONGER”

"Christmas"

As we celebrate the birth of the new born king…Smiles on all our faces, it shall bring…

We hang our stocking and sit by the fire, and read a story…”To God this day we give the Glory.”

We thank you for the gift of your only Son, for all our sins… It is HE who was hung.

In our lifetime.. we will have love, sadness, and sorrow.. This we know.. and we are so very Thankful, for yesterday.. Today.. and Tomorrow..

Your name on High.. We rejoice and Sing….… Immanuel, Lamb of God, Our Holiness, Light of the World… Ha-lle-lu-jah….Ha-lle-lu-jah…Ha-lle-lu-jah…

So, on this 25th day of December we will always rejoice, and Remember…The reason for this Season…”JESUS……Jesus is the Reason for the Season…. Merry Christmas

"From this Day Forward"

At a loss for words, I'm going to do my best to get out what is laying heavy on my heart...

For all these years I've tried to be in control, and what happens??? I've put onto myself a lot more heartache and pain, than I wanted or need to endure...

It's obvious my being in control, is not at all a good judgment call...for if I'd have let go of my Ego, just a t-tiny bit,and laid my life into the hands in which they truly belong...I'd be going down a different path , with out as many tears shed...

What I'll do now is... live from day to day and let he who made me guide me in the direction HE sees fit, regardless if it's what I want... Maybe my wants, are not what I need..

From this day forward, I'll go in to the direction I feel pulling me, and not let my EGO pull me the opposite direction, because I do not know how much more unnecessary roughness I can withstand...

Father, my hands are in yours, where they should have been from the very beginning, forgiveness I pray, and in my heart you are now, and will forever stay!

*~*~Tammy Martina~*~*

"Fade to Black"

Just sitting here wondering when it was I lost you… For it was not brought to my attention.. nor do I recollect a conversation that would have given me one clue..

It hurts..I cannot lie.. but the really sad part.. is I’m not all that bothered..don’t know if it’s because I expect to be hurt..or if it is because I refuel to feel, the bitter pain, of a broken heart..

I wanted so badly for you to be the one.. and I thought I found my other half..the one I could pour all my love I have to give into…Now only shall I bare another scar for everyone to see.. instead of your love tattooed on my heart…

I moved forward….though my prayer is that you forgive me… For I am completely erasing you from my mind…by the time I finish this sentence and by the time I count to 3 you never existed to me… 1….2…3… Fade to black

*~*~Tammy Martina~*~*

"The Wolf"

As I bid you fare well my Sir…I want you to know where I now stand.. with two feet on the ground and my heart completely shut down..

Though I learn from experience all I can do is Thank you…”you may ask why” well let me enlighten you dear Gentlemen…

While you promised you were different I fell for all the sweetness, that came out of your mouth..I let my heart open fully for the first time in my life and I trusted you with all I have… and come to find out you hurt me worst of them all..

So now I take this experience and I have learned the best experience of all..Sheeps attire must not be scarce, and the next time I’m approached I will look at everyone as the wolf they are until I am certain the sheep’s clothing is not coming OFF..

Thank you.. for one more lessoned learned…I am now an even better person, and when I do find my soul mate, I will even more to offer…