The Ghost You Turned me Into

Written for my Friend!

Sitting and waiting for you to acknowledge my existence, is like waiting for snow in the desert! Where the word Satisfied has left, and The return is 1 in a million!

As we walk through our daily tasks, I look over at you with my defenses up, for only rejection is what I now receive.. At dinner I stared at you, and you never even looked over.. You pay attention to the kids, but it's as if you have been put into auto pilot, just motions, no true Value to our life here together as a family..

I walked out onto the Patio as you were coming in, No words exchanged.. I feel like I am the Ghost of the house that is there only to keep your chair and Bed warm.. though the middle of the bed is cold as ice.. It's been many months since we were both there together!

It's all alright, when I take that move, to become the Ghost you turned me into.. Then it won't be a Ghost you will have to fear.. It will be loneliness!

I look forward to the day I can look another in the Face, and they say my name with such adoration!

I have so many things to offer, and I cannot explain. For if I did, I would be wasting my words of sincerity, and that I will no longer do!

Broken am I, and you ask why do I chose the songs I chose.. They are the words that represent my life! You did not pick up on it, because you want to keep pretending this... this is okay..

You said forever and till death do Us Part.. Well.... Where did you go!? I am done... I want to be free.. walk on the beach and know that when I pass someone they will look into my eyes and treat me like the wonderful human I am, and not the Ghost you turned me into!

Finished I am now... so what do have to say about that? This turned cold heart, is finally pumping warm blood and I am not going to waste one more emotion nor one more minute of my life on you..

I have to go live for me now, and find myself.. I hope that you can do the same! I once thought it was you I would love forever, but that is not our ending! This ending, is now my Beginning and you are not included!

Now you can go lie in the Bed you made.. Now you will see just how defenseless you really are! No more chances..no more us...Now if you'd step out of my way.. I have a life to live, and and ready to introduce to the world...Me..


*~*Tammy Martina*~*