"Memories"

....You Know...It does not matter if I'm laying down in bed, or listening to music, or reading a book...It never FAILS..Something reminds me of you...

I'm the kind of person who will set memories to everything.. I can be shopping and smell your scent..and my heart jumps, and adrenaline pumps, and a memory of something we have done together goes through my mind. Making me wish I could go back in time and see your sweet face..

Just the other day I saw the shirt I had worn the first time we met in the park Down Town...a Memory hit me so hard...a tear ran down my face. There are times I will avoid all it takes not to drive through downtown..

All the memories I hold within are usually so wonderful, it's just hard to face them when I know I might not see you for a while..Then Truthfully, I avoid as much as I can, that might make me think about you...because it hurts..It is a Hurt that pierces my heart and soul, and takes my breath away...

There are some days I can't even listen to music, because sometimes it sounds like it's your voice I am hearing.. I know that sounds a little crazy but it more true than I can ever tell you...

...But for the first time in all my life..I have been so so strong and so Brave.. Not letting it take me over...

I am letting each day go by as it should... Not fighting for what I want, what I need.. I am letting it go on it's own...I am going to ride it out...

What happens...Happens.... I am letting fate take this one, because all the times I let what I want get in the way... AND this time No matter the outcome.. I win... And you know what? That feels mighty good...

~~**Tammy Martina**~~